The problem: My child gets distracted by social media and doesn’t finish homework.

Rethink social media.

Do: Social media is powerfully seductive. If your child is already getting distracted from school by social media, it’s important to think about the value social media is bringing to their lives. Is it necessary? It’s much more difficult to keep older kids away from social media. Make sure you’re “friends” with them and you both agree on a plan to limit their social media use.

Don’t tear them down.

Don’t say: You spend more time on TikTok than your homework and your report card shows it!

Tell them what you see.

Say: “Seems like you’re really distracted ever since you started using XYZ. I think we need to have a talk about it. School and responsibilities at home come first. What can you suggest to help keep you focused on what’s important?”

Don’t create an us vs. them competition.

Don’t say: “Hey, these kids are addicted to social media. There’s no way to control it. When I was young…”

Why this approach to distraction by social media and homework matters

  • We live in an era when we’re extra careful to safeguard our children’s physical safety, but many kids end up seeing and doing things online that affect their minds in powerful and sometimes harmful ways.
  • Social media is a tool that works on our emotions. If you don’t make sure your child understands its power to influence thoughts and feelings, then they may not develop the habits of mind they need to maintain a healthy balance when they grow up. Social media often invites comparisons that lead kids to feel bad about themselves. Talk about that — and while you always want to validate your child’s emotions, it also makes sense to assure your child that everyone has challenges and difficulties in their lives, even if on social media it looks like everyone else is having a great time.