The problem: My child leaves homework till the last minute and then falls apart.
Set the stage for homework success.
Do: It may seem obvious to you that homework is a predictable part of daily life, but some kids have an out-of-sight, out-of-mind attitude about homework. This week, try going overboard in setting up ways to help your child keep track of their own responsibilities.
Break down the problem.
Do: Help your child think about how to plan ahead so there’s no stress at the end of a big project. Get them to break the project into steps with deadlines. Ask them how they want to keep track of it: Sticky note reminders? Deadlines written on a calendar? A simple project plan?
Don’t jump on the drama bandwagon.
Do: Stress is contagious, and so it’s easy for meltdowns about homework to make you as stressed as your child. But at the eleventh hour of a school project, your anger or anxiety — not your brilliant words of wisdom — will be the only thing your child remembers. Take a deep breath and prioritize not losing your cool. Instead, be the calming voice that guides getting it done.
In the darkest hour, focus on the light.
Say:
“You can get this done! Let’s work together to make sure you…
- accomplish what you need to tonight,
- figure out what got in the way, and
- learn how to plan better next time.”
Say
“I see how overwhelmed you are. Once you start working on your assignment, you’ll feel better. Sometimes we put off starting big projects because we’re anxious. This happens to me! Next time you feel this way about a project, let’s talk. We can come up with a plan so you won’t be so worried.”
Don’t overreact or label
Don’t say: “Your project is due when?! Sometimes I don’t know what’s going on inside your brain! You’re such a procrastinator!”
Why this approach to doing homework at the last minute matters
Kids believe their parents. So if you tell your child they’re a procrastinator, you help make it so. Better to tackle this as a perfectly normal problem that can be solved together. It might not work the first time (or second or third!), but this will teach your child that struggles can be overcome and that being aware of their own emotions, like anxiety, can help them tackle tough challenges throughout their life.
